溝通的藝術 The Art of Communication－Playfulbee素食媽咪寶貝

下午時,小丫丫和小姨丈,uncle Y，一起在家裡騎搖搖車。一圈轉過一圈,整個家裡都是他們的笑聲。忽然間uncle Y發出ouch...ahh..的聲音,在餵奶的我從別處大叫小丫丫問他uncle Y怎麼了。沒有回答。之後只聽到小丫丫噠噠噠的跑步聲邊喊著「我要尿尿我要尿尿」衝進廁所...

It was an afternoon, little Duckling and Uncle Y were riding the wiggle car at home together. Rounds after rounds, I could hear their laughter all over the place. Suddenly, Uncle Y made a ouch ... ahh .. sound, and I yelled at Little Duckling from another room asking him what happened to Uncle Y, but no answer. A minute after, I heard Little Duckling running and saying, "I want to pee, I want to pee", and rushing into the washroom ...

晚餐前小阿姨跟我說小丫丫剛剛開搖搖車的時,壓到uncle Y的腳趾,流了一些血。我轉過頭去提高聲音叫了小丫丫的名字,他正在地上安安靜靜的玩著玩具車子。我的媽媽,一如以往永遠很有智慧,提醒我,現在孩子愛面子了,可以輕輕抱著他跟他溝通。

Before dinner, little aunt told me Little Duckling drove over uncle Y's toes and he was bleeding a bit. I turned my head to raise my voice to call Little Duckling. He was quietly playing his toy cars on the ground at the time. My mother, wise as always, reminded me now he is more aware of his dignity, I could gently hug him while telling him what happened without scolding.

我坐在小丫丫身邊,搭著他的肩壓低聲音小小聲的跟他說,「你知道嗎?你今天開搖搖車的時候不小心壓到uncle Y的腳,他流血受傷了好傷心。」他亮亮的眼睛看著我,聽著。「媽媽知道你不是故意的,你喜歡跟uncle Y玩對嗎？」「是」,他回答。「那你現在去抱抱uncle Y,跟他說sorry好嗎?媽媽陪你一起去。」「要!」他立刻站了起來走去uncle Y的前面大大的抱住uncle Y的腳,uncle Y趕緊蹲下抱著他一邊示意我們他沒事。小丫丫抱緊uncle Y說著sorry,兩個人抱著笑開著...這件事情就這麼圓滿落幕了。大家開開心心的一同坐上飯桌。

I sat down right next to him, laid my arm around his shoulder and said with a low voice, "You know? You accidentally ran over Uncle Y's toe when you drove the wiggle car today, he was bleeding, injured and sad." He looked at me with his bright eyes, listening... "Mommy knows you didn't do it on purpose. Do you enjoy playing with uncle Y?" "Yes," he answered. "Then will you go and hug uncle Y now, and tell him you're sorry? Mommy will go with you." "Yes!" He immediately stood up, walked to uncle Y, and hugged him. Uncle Y hugged him back while giving us the look that he's totally fine. Little Duckling said sorry, and the two were laughing and laughing again... The story ended here, with everyone happily sat at the dining table together.

這個故事的結局很可能完全不同...如果當時我當眾斥責他問他為什麼沒道歉就跑掉了,他可能因此大哭,因為他可能根本不知道他壓到uncle Y,卻被我罵了而感到委屈。也可能因為被當眾責備,好面子而倔強的不肯道歉。而達不到目的的我可能因此更生氣,他也就哭的更慘。之後我可能跟他說不道歉就不能吃晚餐....你可以預見接下來沒完沒了的各種情節。

The ending of this story could be completely different ...If I yelled at him in front of everyone and questioned why he ran away without an apology, he might cry because he may not even know that he injured uncle Y in the first place. He might, stubbornly refuse to apologize for being blamed in public as he felt hurt. And I may get angrier because of it, and he would cry even more. After that, I might tell him he will not have dinner without an apology.... and you can foresee what happens next...

我很感恩身邊有這些人一直提醒著幫助著我。我不是一個完美的媽媽...應該說離完美...差的很遠(笑),脾氣也不好。但是我一直在嘗試想做的更好。我們的孩子努力的在長大學習,怎麼當更好的孩子,我們卻忘了,有時我們也需要學習怎麼成為更好的爸爸媽媽,畢竟沒有人教過我們怎麼做,不是嗎?

I am so grateful I have all these wonderful people in my life keep on reminding and helping me along the way. I am not a perfect mom...I'm far from being one and I have such bad temper. But I have been trying to do better. Our kids work hard to grow up and learn to become better children, but we forget, sometimes we also need to learn how to become better parents. After all, no one has ever taught us how to do so, isn't it?

因為孩子,我們變得更強大,去改掉自己的壞習慣,臭脾氣,只因為身教大於言教。因為孩子,我們變得更柔軟,改掉自己的自私,我行我素,去學習無私的愛,去學習有原則的退讓。因為孩子,我們更拉近了跟我們父母親之間心的距離,畢竟以前的我們從沒能想像,他們為我們曾經的那些操心難過,被我們的喜怒哀樂牽著走,可以犧牲一切只為我們更快樂,原來是這般複雜的感覺。

Because of our children, we have become stronger, in getting rid of our bad habits and temper, only because actions are louder than words. Because of our children, we have become softer. We have changed the way we think and act in becoming more selfless. Because of the children, we are closer to our parents than ever. As we could never imagine before, how powerful their unconditional love is. How they could sacrifice everything, just to provide us the best and make us happy.

期許我們都能成為更好的父母,加油!

Wishing we all could become our better self. Happy parenting!